Ugly Christmas Sweater
by Mistress 0f Dragons
Summary: The Thousand Sunny crew are going to do a Christmas group picture. With ugly sweaters! But first Nami has to convince Zoro to wear his. For Hanzatsu-Hime's ZoNa tumblr group "ZoNamiEvents". This is for her ZoNami Holiday 2016 Event. Day 9: Ugly Sweater. One-shot. Complete. Title and rating may change. Merry Christmas!


**A/N:** Alright this was supposed to be posted on December 9th. But me being me forgot to write it and with the holidays and work I'm just getting to it now. This is for **_Hanzatsu-Hime's ZoNa tumblr group "ZoNamiEvents"_**. This is for her **ZoNami Holiday 2016 Event**. There are 31 days to choose from with holiday themed and/or ideas. I chose the 9th because you can't have a Christmas event without any ugly sweaters! For the last two weeks I have had several ideas pop into my head and I could not choose which idea to write so I will be posting them as one-shots in this story. I haven't decided how many one-shots for this sweater idea but each chapter will have a new ugly sweater idea.

 **Caution:** I have not written anything for about two years (I think) so I don't know how well this will be written. Sorry for any OOC. Also I'm not caught up with One Piece. Once the Bleach manga was finished I started watching the anime called Fairy Tail. I know enough about One Piece to get me by but don't expect any of the details to or events to be current. Also I apologize in advance for the horrible Christmas puns. I couldn't resist.

 **Note:** I know that the layout of the ship has been explained by Mr. Oda but I am going to be changing a couple of things. I know that the men and woman have separate rooms on the Thousand Sunny but I am going to be giving Luffy and Zoro their own rooms. Reasons being is that well, Luffy is the Captain and Zoro is the First Mate. I know that officially that Zoro is not called _first mate_ but _pirate_ _hunter_ but meh, whatever. We all know that he is the first mate. In my mind that deserves a different room from the crew. You'll see why in the story.

 **Christmas** **theme:** Ugly Sweater

 **Timeline:** Takes place 5 years after the 2 year time skip with slight AU.

 **Rating:** High T rating and low M rating. Please be at LEAST 16 to read. I tried to keep the adult theme vague and implied for those that don't like adult stuff but I also gotta satisfy the ZoNa fangirls.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece. That right belongs to Eiichiro Oda.

 **Note** **2:** This has only had a simple spelling/grammar check. No one has beta'd it yet. Cover image I do not own. I found it on Google Images.

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 _~~With Zoro~~_

Zoro looked down at the hideous piece of clothing that was laid out before him. He had done a lot of things for his bossy, busty wife but this was just asking far too much. After several days of being barricaded up in Usoop's factory, Frankie and him came out with what they said was a camera. It was finally going to solve Sanji's problem of never getting a proper wanted poster. It could take whatever image you saw through the binocaular hole and instantly paint an image onto paper with the click of a button. The duo had gone on and on about how the image appeared on the paper but Zoro didn't pay any attention to what they were saying. Robin then suggested that they should celebrate the event of this invention by taking a group Christmas picture. Not to be outdone Nami then suggested a Christmas tradition, in his option, that needed to be destroyed and very much forgotten. This tradition was supposed to be fun Nami said. But as Zoro looked at the he was baffled and could not understand how something so horrid came to be.

What he was staring at was something called an ugly Christmas sweater. It was red sweater with green tinsel wreath wrapped around it with different colored fuzz balls with plastic colored ornaments hanging from both the tinsel wreath and the sweater. As if there wasn't enough placed on it there was little Christmas lights on the borders of the sweater. And the lights twinkled as well! Zoro hung his head. Life hated him. He could not believe that Nami expected not only him but the rest of the crew to wear one just like this.

A knock was heard on the door to the first mates room. Knowing who it was without even getting it he told them to enter as he continued to glare at the sweater. Nami enter the door to find her husband of 3 year bare chested and glaring at the sweater she designed. She licked her lips as she admired his muscular and scarred upper body. She had memorized each and every scar on his body and knew the story behind how he received each and every one. There was a new, healing scar on his shoulder that had Zoro had gotten from a recent fight. The healing skin looked red and angry because it had just gotten over an infection from not being taken of. Zoro had his the wound because he didn't want Nami or Chopper to fuss over it since it was just a scratch. Unfortunately luck wasn't on his side and it had gotten infected from not being properly cleaned and his daily work out sweat. Clad in the sweater, a green velvet skirt, and ruby red stilettos she walked over to him. Wrapping her arms around his chest Nami kissed Zoro's shoulder.

Zoro could feel a smirk begin to form on Nami's face. " I'm not putting it on. There is no way that I will wear the sweater." Nami alreadly knew that she had already won this battle and that the swordsman would put on the sweater. She just had to add a little sugar to his sour spice. It wouldn't take long for him to see sugar plums dancing around in his head and for his nut cracker to get up. She let go of him and moved to stand in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck as she begin to kiss him.

"The sweater isn't that bad. All you have to do is wear it for an hour tops. And just think about the reward you will get when the day is over. It will be worth your while. I can promise you that." She smiled between her kisses. "If you wish I will give you part of your present now." Zoro smirked and grunted as Nami unbuckled his belt and got on her knees.

 _~~With the crew~~_

Down on the first deck the crew of the Thousand Sunny was waiting for their Nakama. To keep Luffy from getting too excited and wrecking the Christmas backdrop for the group picture Sanji had laid out a meat spread for him. Not everyone was happy about wearing the ugly sweaters but they knew from experience that when the women of the ship were happy then everyone was happy. Everyone, especially Zoro, had found that out the hard way the past year with Nami.

"What's taking Nami-swan so long to get that shitty swordsman? I am starting to run out of meat to keep Luffy in check." The blonde cook was quickly met with glares and shushes. Chopper brought over a large glass jar that was labelled _Swear Words_ and began to speak as Sanji pulled out 20 belli to put in the jar.

"I will go see what is taking them so long. It could be Zoro's most recent injury." He passed the _Swear Word_ jar over to Sanji and took a few steps before gasping. "Maybe his shoulder wound has gotten infected again! Ahhh! I am coming Zoro!" The little reindeer ran as fast as his hooves could take him to grab for antibiotic ointment from the sick bay before making his way over to the first mate's room.

 _~~With ZoNa~~_

Zoro tried to stifle a moaned as his pants came faster and his eyes were closed in pleasure as Nami's mouth bobbed up and down on his member. "N-nami... fuck..." Nami smirked because she knew that he was close and he would give into her soon. Hearing a throaty moan she put her plan into action. She removed her mouth from his body and began to stand up from her kneeing position. Zoro, heavily panting, cracked open an eye that was glazed over with passion and hard from annoyance for her stopping so close to his release. "Why did you stop?"

Nami adjusted her top and began to fix her hair. "I stopped because why should I try to bribe you to do something nice for your friends and family? The fact is that none of the guys were excited. In fact Sanji complained louder then you. Then again he has been complaining louder since I made him stop smoking on the ship. But enough of that. The point is that no one wanted to wear the sweaters but they chose to because we are all family and what better way to start celebrating Christmas with an ugly sweater photo to send to our friends?"

"No they did it to make you happy because the last year you have made living with you on this ship a living nightmare. Poor Chopper still has nightmares from the chewing out that you screamed at him." Zoro felt bad for the little doctor. After being screamed at by Nami he dealt with PDST, post traumatic stress disorder, for a few months.

Nami glared and pointed an accusing finger at Zoro. "It was entirely your fault that my hormones were out of wack for so long."

Zoro gave one of his famous, cocky, wolf smile-smirks. "It takes two to tango you know? And if I remember correctly you couldn't keep your hands to yourself that day."

Nami threw her hands out in the air. "I give up. You do want you want. Use your right hand to finish yourself off. I am going to be with our friends and family taking a Christmas picture. Your bed is going to be cold tonight because I am going to be sleeping in the girls room tonight with Robin." She huffed and spun around on her heel and took two steps before she spun around again and was kissed within a inch of your life. The kind of kiss that would make your legs go all wobbly.

Zoro gazed into Nami's eyes. "You know that I am a stubborn man but yet you chose me. Me over that ero cook. And it strokes my ego... ah ah... let me finish." Nami was about to snap at him but his finger on her lips stopped her and the moments that Rorona Zoro were sweet and heartfelt were few and far between so she let him continue. "Every since the day that I met you we have both been at each other throats. Whether its you piling more belli onto my debt to you or me saving your ass from the enemy. But as each day passed I placed more and more trust into you. And then it happened. Arlong Park." Zoro brushed his hand over where Arlong had once placed his tattoo brand on her arm. "You know this already. But I will stay it again. That was when I had made a risky gamble. To see that if I wrong to have placed my trust, and ultimately my life, into your hands." Zoro blushed and smiled as he ran his hands through his hair. He was getting uncomfortable and embarrassed but he needed to say it. "This past year and a half has made me want to be a better person. For the crew, for myself, to you as a wife, and as a father."

Zoro looks at the small baby cradle. "When I held him in my arms for the very first time I had multiple feelings go through me. Pride that I had a son. Love that you birthed a baby that was created from our love. Doubt if i was going to be a good father or not. Fear that our enemies would burst through that door to take him away from us. And embarrassment that such a tiny little human being that I barely knew but would protect till my dying breath that he could make me fall to my knees with the amount of pure love I felt for him." He looked over at the sweater and sighed. "I will put on the damn sweater. But I get to burn it afterwards alright?"

Nami had tears flowing down her face as she listen to Zoro speak. She loved it when he was unguarded and heartfelt but what he was saying brought her love for him to a whole other level. She nodded and then pushed him back a few steps until she pushed him down onto the bed. "You can join the rest of the crew as they burn their sweaters as well. She pulled off the sweater and threw it onto the floor, unhooked her bra, and unzipped her skirt. "I decided to give you a part of your Christmas gift early. You got 5 minutes Zoro. Make it count because we still have pictures to take." With one skilled and quick move both panties and velvet skirt slid off as she crawled on top of her muscular and sexy husband, then shrieked in surprise as he flipped her underneath him with a growl as he drove himself into her wet folds.

 _~~With Chopper~~_

Chopper raced over from the sick bay and over to the room that Zoro shared with Nami and their 6 month old baby son. He carried the ointment that he need in his hoof as his little legs took him as fast as he could. Nearing the door he heard Zoro yell. His mind instantly thought that something was wrong and that they might need his help as a doctor. Chopper came to the doctor and just as he began to open it he heard Nami call out Zoro's name.

"Oh no! Zoro are you alright? I'm sorry that your wounds hurt! I know that you don't want my help but I am the doctor and I don't wish to see you in pain!" Chopper was going to say more but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw both Zoro and Nami, naked and sweating, atop their bed in the middle of lovemaking. As the couple turned to look at the new voice and expressions of passion turn to shock and embarrassment Chopper ran away from their run yelling _Sorry_ in mortification and embarrassment.

 _~~With the crew~~_

The crew were trying to do their best to cheer Chopper up and that it wasn't his fault that he walked in on the couple's intimate moment. Robin held the newest member of the Strawhat Pirates, smiling and cooing at him. Someday she would talk Frankie into letting her have one of these. But now was not the time.

Zoro and Nami came out of the first mate's room and Nami went straight over to the crying Chopper saying that it wasn't his fault that he walked in on them. Zoro stood awkwardly by in the ugly sweater when Sanji walked up to him with a sly smile on his face. "Hey will you look at that. The color of your hair matches the green in your sweater. You look fabulous by the way. It seems like you handed in your man card early."

Zoro scowled at what Sanji said. "They were too busy to take mine. Apparently they were still trying to process your card because they were trying to find out where it said man in yours." He smirked a took a few steps over to his Robin and his son before turning back to face the cook. "Try not to burn your sweater when you go into the men's quarter to smoke. Wouldn't want Nami's screeching to make you go deaf about smoking on the ship that her son is on."

Sanji quickly became red faced and walked over to the _Swear Words_ jar as he deposited 100 beli for words against a certain swordsman.

"Alright everyone get together! The sooner this picture gets taken the sooner we can destroy these sweater!" Robin herded everyone over to the Christmas backdrop as Usoop set the timer on the camera and hurried on over to get into the picture.

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 **A/N:** There you have it! Hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas!


End file.
